Monday, April 28, 2008

Interview With a Bubba

Over the weekend my little bro was gracious enough to let me interview him for the enjoyment of the blogosphere. He can be tough to deal with sometimes, but for the most part he's a pretty fun little kid. Or teenager....


How old are you Jared? (I only forget sometimes....)
Eighty

And that makes you what? A... 7th grader?
Yep

It's been a while since I've been in Junior High, what's it like these days?
Gangster

What do you mean by gangster?
Everyone's a gangster

But we live in the 'burbs...
It's still pretty gangster

Okaaaayyy, moving on. What subject do you like the most?
Math.

Why?
Because it's always funny.

Because of your teacher?
No, the class is just funny.

How smart would you say you are J-rod?
Pretty smart. Like boy genius.

Who's the cutest girl in school?
Not answering

Why not?
Cuz I'm just not answering

(What does he think I'm going to do? Tease him about it? Okay, I probably would, but it'd be so much fun...)

Whose better: Superman, Spiderman, or Batman?
Batman

Why?
Cuz he's not cheesy.

Cheesy?
The other one's are for teeny little kids.

And Batman is for grown ups?
No, but it's for older kids.

I like Batman. Christian Bale style...
He's good in the movie, but otherwise... he's a pansy.

But not as Batman?
No.

Why are there seven days in a week?
Because... Is there like something to this question or something?

No. Just a question. If you were in a boy band what would it be called?
Your Mom. That was a joke Jennie. Here's the answer: I would never be in a boy band.

But you'd get lots of chicks...
Yeah, but guys in boy bands were tight suits and things. Funny outfits.
So you wouldn't do it because it'd hurt your fashion sensibilities?
Pretty much.

Describe our cat Tigger for my readers.
Umm, he attacks you if you go near him sometimes. Or he goes whiny whiny if you pick him up at all.

Which nickname do you like better: J-rod or Bubba?
J-rod. Because the other one's insulting.

(Some back story: When J-rod was a baby, he was huge. Like mega huge. Whenever we took him out people would comment about how he was going to be a linebacker when he grew up. All those rolls of fat were so adorable and Bubba just fit him. We called him that for at least the first 6 years of his life. The picture to the right was taken after he had learned to crawl and shed some of the massive baby chubbiness.)

Will you answer one of life's biggest mysteries? Why do girl's buy so many shoes?
It's cuz they're crazy.

If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose?
Mmm... Gandolf.

Why Gandolf?
Duh... Because he has magic. Good enough. No more questions.
Wait, one more. Would you rather drink a barrel of monkey snot or go down a slide or razerblades into a vat of iodine?
The second one.

Apparently my brother has had enough torture for a night :)

8 comments:

Sarakastic said...

I wish you were on the TV instead of Barbara Walters. My favorite part of this interview is
What do you mean by gangster?
Everyone's a gangster

enemyemily said...

Probably the best interview I've read in ages. You should apply for a job with OK or US Weekly.

LEstes65 said...

Oh my goodness that was hysTERical! Batman totally rocks more than other superheroes because he uses his brains and gadgets that he and Alfred made. And he's hot. ESPECIALLY in the Christian Bale incarnation. Someday your brother will wish he were as pansie-ish as Christian Bale.

The last question would have made me pass milk through my nose, had I been drinking any. You SLAY me!

LaskiGal said...

This is hilarious! Your little brother is adorable! I LOVE chubby babies! He probably hates being reminded of that :)

Seriously--hands down the BEST interview I've ever read on the net! Best questions!!!

Barrie said...

Very funny! And you should be an interviewer!

ellesappelle said...

If only more people asked interview questions like your last one... SO much more interesting than "are you dating orlando/brad/etc?"

~Virginia~ said...

LOL! I almost snorted iced tea up my nose when he said "gangster"! That's too funny!

Stacy said...

The kid has his priorities straight. No boy bands. Tell him he rocks.